(210227) Xiao Zhan Weibo: “Some things I want to say.”

Today, I have some things I’d like to say to everyone. I thought about various methods, and in the end I decided to use the simplest one, which is to tell everyone my feelings and perceptions this year. These thoughts may not represent anything, and may not solve anything, but I still hope to say this openly today. 

This time last year, the storm happened very suddenly, and like a bomb that suddenly exploded, it sent me into a state of shock — my phone rang off the hook, my Wechat notifications never stopped, everyone’s suggestions and questions all came at me at the same time. I wanted to speak out, but I didn’t know what to say. I had many concerns, and I was scared that any word or sentence would be overanalyzed and exaggerated, causing further disturbance. So at that time, I chose to not say anything.

I didn’t expect for the feelings of opposition between various circles and levels of online discourse snowball bigger and bigger, with more and more ramifications. Gradually, it was out of one person’s control, and even though afterwards, I wanted to speak out to recover it, nothing could have worked out the way I had hoped for anymore.

This kind of life clamored and tore at me until now. And this year, my condition was as if I had been through countless long and dark corridors. Uneasiness, reflection, struggle… I also once questioned, what did I do wrong, why did everything after that day sail off like an uncontrollable ship?

I spent a long time digesting all this, and I spent even longer to understand everyone’s actions and words. Slowly, I began to understand what everyone’s criticisms were of me. From the moment that I didn’t express my attitude, I had already missed the window to rationally communicate with everyone; from the start, I was wrong.

At that time, I hadn’t gotten a clear understanding of the entire issue, and I didn’t understand everyone’s emotions. Further to that, I didn’t understand what kind of responsibility I needed to take on at times like this. Therefore, I missed the timing to communicate with everyone, and missed out on taking the responsibility to guide those oppositional emotions. Now, I clearly realize and understand that in this year, everyone’s criticism towards me being “idol without a voice” is correct. In this year, I constantly reflected that as a public figure, aside from improving my skills continuously, it’s even more important that I bear responsibility, take on my social duties, and bravely express correct values. Within my limitations, I should guide those who love me, and pay attention to me. Even though in this year, my studio and myself have expressed this attitude through Weibo and interviews, the storm caused because of me and the harm brought to others due to opposition of different circles is hard to heal.

No matter how late, I must correct my problems. I hope to make my first stance — Xiao Zhan hereby apologizes, to the people who were hurt last year and continue to be hurt because of my “loss of voice”. This is the first responsibility I should take on towards the public; face the problem straight on, and accept my mistake.

At the same time, I hope to use this chance to say some things to my fans. This is the second responsibility I need to take on. In an interview last year, I said, I don’t agree with “managing” fans, because everyone is their own individual person, and whether it’s me or my studio, we don’t have the right to treat this relationship like a senior-junior management relationship. Later on, I repeatedly thought and reflected, and maybe I can’t use the word “manage” for the relationship with fans, but I have the duty to “guide correctly and encourage actively.” So today, I want to tell my fans, everyone has the right to like or dislike, and regardless of whether it’s liked or disliked, it should be respected, and allowed in its respective spaces of expression. Of course, this right applies within the boundaries of correct values and if it’s rational and doesn’t hurt others. I hope that my fans can understand, no matter what industry or age group you’re in, your likes and actions cannot reach outside of those boundaries, and definitely can’t be against the rules of the profession or beyond moral limits. Whether it’s online or in the real world, each person should be responsible for their own words and actions. Furthermore, I hope that each of us do not let ourselves be represented by the self-created label of “so and so’s fans”, and don’t form a distinct position from this, and even more importantly, don’t judge good and bad from this position. Everyone has their interests and likes, please respect each person’s choice and freedom of speech. Whether they like me or dislike me it’s in their own right. Love should be the source of strength for us, and I hope that this source doesn’t wear on or hurt others. Maybe I cannot change the overall environment, but at least we can start from you and me; today is a new starting point.

Finally, I want to chat with everyone about myself. 

From the moment I entered this industry, until now, I’ve always had labels on me. But my original reason for coming into industry was my love for acting and music. And because of this, I’m always working hard to become a more professional actor and singer. In the face of the sudden criticism of “idol without a voice”, I realized that aside from focusing on my own skills, I need to take on my rightful responsibilities and duties as a public figure, as an idol. I was born in an ordinary Chongqing family, and like many people, I lived an ordinary life for more than twenty years. Today, I want to take this opportunity to express my apology for inappropriate remarks I made as a regular person, and to the people I unintentionally hurt. I will work had to learn to become a better “public figure”, as I do my own tasks well. I’ll make it so that these two Xiao Zhan’s can accept each other and merge so that I can become a better version of myself.

I need to be responsible for the various disturbances that arose because of me in this past year, whether big or small. I can have requirements for myself, but I cannot force them upon others. I just hope that the people who truly like me can listen seriously to me; please add a level of “rationality” beyond a person’s likes and dislikes. Live positive and healthy lives, and put your focus and most of your energy in your real lives. Spend less time fighting, battling, opposing virtual IDs in the online world, and more time working to improve in the real world. It’s just for the sake of becoming better versions of yourselves.

Harper’s Bazaar Cover Story: Dreams Into Reality

In the past year, Xiaozhan can only describe some of what happened as “like a dream”.

In his graduation year, he started a studio with friends. He was the main photographer, and Chen Man was his idol. “We studied Man-jie’s work together, to see how she uses exposure, how she edits to achieve special effects.” And in this moment, he’s standing before Chen Man’s lens, doing a photoshoot for the cover of “Harper’s Bazaar”.

“I’m so nervous!” His bambi eyes sparkled, “Man-jie created her own unique aesthetic style, it’s still a familiar feeling to see the composition of a photographer I knew of when I worked as a designer, but now I’m the subject myself.”

As he said this, he took a deep breath, and his gaze fell upon an undefined point in the distance. The corners of his mouth turned upwards, “That’s dreams turning into reality.”

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